Something Funny I Heard Today...

You all know I am a high school teacher and I hear some great things...but today I got my first winner of the year! I couldn't resist sharing it with you.

Let me preface this by saying that I am changing names to protect the not so innocent.

Today I gave the kids some time to work on a handout. I was hoping to make it so they wouldn't have homework on a holiday weekend (aren't I nice?) As I sat at my desk putting names in my gradebook (which is a milestone in the school year--you aren't truly organized until the names are in the gradebook!) I noticed Fred sitting at his desk doodling on his paper, drawing on the desk (with his eraser), doodling some more. After about five minutes of watching Fred, I told him to get busy. He got busy--with more doodling and eraser drawings. I again (politely and quietly) told him to get to work on his handout. He resumed working on wasting time. Finally, after four more prompts and miles of frustration from me, I told him to come to my desk with his paper.

He arrived with his blank paper and I asked him what he had accomplished. He shrugged and smirked (I hate the smirk..it's like saying "kiss my ass, lady...you can't make me do this"). I told him he had precisely one minute to get something other than doodling done on that paper or I was sending him out with a referral for defiance.

Fred heads back to his desk, looks right at me, and begins his eraser antics again. I about lost it. But, being the calm and rational person I am, I simply (politely) asked him to take his paper and step in the hall. I followed.

I found Fred leaning arrogantly against the wall, still blank handout in hand. I was thinking he maybe didn't understand it and was embarrassed to ask question in front of class, so maybe he would admit to being confused in the hall and break down and beg forgiveness for his sloth-like behavior...(okay, so I knew that wasn't even close, but I was giving him the benefit of the doubt)

Instead, here is our conversation:

Me: Fred, why aren't you doing your work? You have nothing written down and you had nearly thirty minutes.

Fred: Well, it's Friday and I just don't feel like working.

Me (after a brief internal thought of "What? we've gone to work optional Friday and no one told me?!?!"): Well, Fred, we all have to do things we don't like...like me, for instance...I have to watch you do no work because you think you don't have to because it's Friday.

Fred: I plan on doing it at home this weekend

Me (internally saying "riiiiight): So you are going to tell me that you won't do work on a Friday BUT you will do it over a three day weekend?

Fred: *shrug*...*smirk*

It was the smirk that did it. I wrote him up right then and there (I did give him the opportunity to tell me why he shouldn't be sent to an administrator and he didn't have a good reason...I guess that was too much like work)

The funniest part of all? Fred had a three hour Friday school today because of a discipline issue from last week.

Ain't irony grand?