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Sunday, October 21, 2007

Why Is It...

Why is it okay for people to badger married women about when they are going to have babies? When did it really become any one's business but the married couples'? Honestly...

I was at a baby shower yesterday. I don't mind going to showers...it's fun, really, to see people and to play cheesy games and to see how happy the mother-to-be is. I don't mind that part...at all. What I do mind is the way that everyone starts grilling me about when TJ and I are going to have babies.

"Oh, Shan, won't it be nice when this is your shower?"

"Oh, Shan, won't
you just be so cute when you're pregnant?"

"Shan, when are you going to have a baby?"


"Whoever wins the next shower game has the next baby...Shn, looks like you're winning!"

Really...I get it. We've been married for five years, I am getting ready to turn (gulp) thirty, and we built a house with kids in mind...but we aren't ready to take that step yet. I know people say you are never really ready...but TJ and I are smart enough to know that we are REALLY not ready...we have things we want to do for us first. We've talked about it an we know what we want to do...

It just seems that many other people don't get that.

And, while I am at it, why is it okay for perfect strangers to rub a pregnant woman's belly? You don't do that to non-pregnant women, do you? So, pregnant ladies, here is a bit of advice for you: next time someone you don't know touches your belly...do it back to them. Se how well they like it!

6 rambled with me...:

Anonymous said...

Amen sister!!

Anonymous said...

I totally feel your pain. Chris' sister just had a baby and all I've been hearing is when we she have a cousin...how about AFTER we get married. That's the only part I'm dreading about being married...I don't want to be hasseled even more about when I'm having kids. Good luck with all of that.

Misty DawnS said...

Oh man - this is SO an issue with me! I am 32 years old with no children. My husband, however, is almost 44 with three children, and the youngest is 17 (6 months away from being an adult). I've had people outright rudely say to me that they "can't believe I decided I don't want children". Hullo??? I never said that... but life brought husband and me together and, well, he's done having kids. I get sick of being 'accused' of not wanting children of my own. Besides, it really isn't any of their business!

Shan said...

Thanks for standing with me, ladies! Sometimes I feel that I am the only one with this issue--it makes me feel so much better to know that I am not alone!

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on all of this! It bugged me no end the way people were always asking me and my husband when we were going to have kids. None of their business! We had our first baby after we'd been married 4 years, so that's not so long. I have friends who didn't start having kids until they'd been married 10 years. It just has to be right for your family - no matter what anyone else thinks.

About the tummy rubbing thing? Yeah, I hated that. Also, when I was pregnant and people would ask me how I felt - they'd look at me like I must be lying when I said 'fine' - what did they want to hear? That I was miserable?

Angie said...

I hated being pregnant and I would have punched the first person to touch my stomach.

You know what I hate? I hate it when I tell someone that I don't feel well and they assume I'm pregnant. Why can't I just have the flu?