Heads or Tails...

Today's topic is a bit more somber than the ones previously. Today Skittles has asked that we reflect upon the 9-11 attacks. Although I could probably go into every detail of that day (as I am sure many of us can), I will keep this as brief as possible.

I was in my second year of teaching. I remember that the day was exceptionally beautiful here in Kentucky, and I had a teacher meeting to go to the last half of the day. My brother had just come home on leave (he had just finished basic training for the Navy) and he was at home, asleep.

My students were working on vocabulary. We were listening to the Remember the Titans soundtrack, and one of our social studies teachers came rushing into my room...and the look on his face said it all. In his heavy New York accent, he told me I had to turn the TV on right then. I had never seen him look so panicked...so I turned on the TV...and the image that greeted me will haunt me forever.

Both towers were on fire by the time I got the TV on. Within minutes, the first tower collapsed. I remember bringing my hand to my mouth and saying "This can't be happening." I remember students asking me what was going on...and I remember picking up the phone to call my brother...and I remember tearing up when I talked to him. I was so worried that he would have to go...that he would be called to defend, but he assured me that since he was still in training, he would be fine. I told him to call Mom to assure her he was safe, and I hung up. And then the second tower came down. I stared at the television...still hoping this was some elaborate hoax and someone would be punished.

But it wasn't a hoax. It was very, very real.

And then I remembered that I had thirty kids staring at me. They were all looking to me for answers and I didn't have any. I was at a loss.

I went to that meeting that afternoon (they didn't cancel it), and, as a matter of fact, the board office told all schools that they had to turn off all TV's in the district and no one was allowed to watch. I remember thinking that was crazy because it was happening and everyone had the right to know.

By the time I got out of my meeting, all flights were grounded. At the time, TJ and I lived within two miles of a major airport. When I drove by that afternoon, it was eerie to see all the planes just sitting on the tarmac--not moving. It was eerier still not to hear a single plane fly out that evening.

Like everyone, I was obsessed for quite a while...I watched the news constantly, I cried all the time, and I worried about my brother. After some time passed, things got easier, but the feelings never really went away.

TJ and visited Ground Zero a few years ago...and the feelings you get when standing in that spot are unmistakable. It is powerful, moving, and you are silenced...not because anyone tells you to be silent, but because something within in you compels you to silence. Maybe it's respect...maybe it's sadness...maybe it's a mixture of all things emotional. Whatever it is, it happens.

And the pictures of the lost people are enough to stop you in your tracks...

I don't think I will ever really understand why someone felt the need to punish so many innocent people...I will never understand why there are brothers, sisters, wives, husbands, children, fathers and mothers who will never see family members again.

But I guess it doesn't matter now whether or not we understand...the important thing is that we never forget.