Look...But Don't Touch

In Fairfax County, Virginia, a school has enforced a strict no touching policy. That means no hugging, hand-holding, kissing, poking, prodding, high-fiving or any other form of physical contact between students. Period. The school says that they have done it to reduce confrontations in the hallway and to limit any gang handshakes, etc. in their school.

This ban has created a storm of controversy--mainly from parents of a student who nearly got detention for putting his arm around his girlfriend. Instead of supporting the school policy and setting a good example for their child (by teaching them that rules apply to everyone and there are no exceptions) the parents are lobbying for a change in the school policy.

Here's how I see it:

I am a high school teacher and I see the large amount of physical contact that goes on in our hallways everyday. Some of it may seem innocent enough, but, when you look closely at the elaborate handshakes and signs, you know what is going on. Kids are literally making out in the hallway (and, since we had close to 40 girls pregnant last year it seems that the making out in the hallway isn't where it is stopping). It's true that little innocent pokes and pushes often turn into fights in the hallway--and even if teachers are there to stop the contact, it doesn't always help because, in our code of conduct there is really nothing about physical touch at all--no bans, restrictions, nothing. In fact, we don't even have anything about public displays of affection--I think it says something like "all physical contact must be appropriate and unoffensive." Unoffensive to whom? The students? The teachers? Visitors? It isn't clear.

I digress...(what else is new?)

My point is this--if things were clear (like the absolute ban) then there would be no question about what the rules were. Our principal wouldn't have to deal with phone calls asking why their child got written up for kissing in the hall while their best friend didn't. It would be straight forward, no nonsense, no questions asked clear.

A news report last night said that this ban was crippling the kids because it was creating an environment that was too protective...too protective? In today's world of school violence and danger, I would think that parents and the public would be happy that a school is taking steps to protect kids the best that they can. If the school kept letting gang signs and "secret" handshakes happen and a fight broke out that led to injuries, they would be in trouble there, too. It's like schools can't win.

Can I see where some people may be upset? Sure I can...especially if you are one of the kids in trouble. But, can I see where the school is coming from? You bet I can. I see what they are trying to do...and it seems that they really are doing with the best interest of all their student in mind. It's not like they just woke up one morning and said "Hey...what can we do to make our student's lives a living hell? I know...let's enforce a touching ban!"

As a teacher I wish parents would try to see the school's side more often. If anything is crippling many kids today it's their parents' urgency to always tell their kids that they are right--even when they have blatantly violated an established rule. Even one as seemingly ridiculous as a touching ban.