I am a FREAK of Nature...

(no comments from the peanut gallery, please...)

I hurt my neck Sunday night. I have no idea how I did it. All I know is that I have been walking around unable to comfortably turn my head from one side to the other. And, let's face it, at this point I don't care what caused it...I just want it fixed! Today the pain was so bad (as in it nearly made me ill, bad) that I decided I needed to call the doctor. This is a big deal for me...anyone who knows me knows that I will do just about ANYTHING to keep from going there.

I get an appointment at 3:15. That means I have to leave work early (only by ten minutes) because, although we TECHNICALLY can leave at 2:45, there is no way I would have ever made it out of out parking lot's one exit that accommodates all the staff, parent and student drivers that our school has to offer. In fact, unless you hightail it out of the parking lot by 2:25:30, you are stuck until at least 3:00...at least.

But I digress...(as usual)

I got to the doctor thinking I would see him, he would prescribe some pain medication and I would be on my way. I wasn't nervous about this trip, I had no anxiety and I was cool, calm, and collected. Sure, it was weird that I wasn't seeing my normal doctor (he was off today), but I didn't think that would matter. He poked around on my neck, listened to my breathing, asked some routine questions and said that he thinks it was a muscle inflammation. This was an easy trip...

Until he mentioned a shot. If this had been my regular doctor, he would have known better than to mention that word to me (we have a standing agreement that, unless I am seconds from death, he does not, under any circumstance, stick me with needles...bad things happen). I wanted to shout "NO!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" but I didn't. I stayed silent...thinking to myself: "Shan, you're 30 years old...you can handle this. Stop your whining."

So in comes the nurse with the *gulp* needle. I told her that I have a problem with needles and I often pass out...I wanted to tell her "It's true...I do. Ask my husband...he'll tell you...now, can we act like you did it and send me on my way?"...but I didn't. I allowed her to stick me with the offending (and enormous...as in gigantic) needle.

At first I was fine. I sat for a couple of minutes and felt okay (really, I did), so I thought I was out of the woods. After all, I ate breakfast and lunch today so my body wasn't in food deprived shock or anything (as it was the last two times I passed out). I got up, walked out of the exam room and down the hall and I started to feel a little woozy. I kept thinking "just get outside...the fresh air will help...just get outside."

I made it outside...to my car..in my car...and that was as far as I was going. I felt it happening. I broke into a cold sweat, I started shaking from head to toe and my ears started ringing. I knew I should go back into the doctor's office, but I also knew that I would never make it...I knew would collapse halfway to the door. So I did the only thing I can think of--I called TJ. I would have called the doctor's office, but I didn't even know the number at that moment. TJ called the office and next thing I knew I three nurses are tapping on my car window.

I opened the door and they ask the dumbest question: "Honey, are you okay?"

Sure...I'm peachy. I'm just sitting in my car shaking from head to toe with my head between my knees, in a cold sweat and pale as death...but I'm swell. You should see me on a bad day.

They got me out of the car and began slowly walking me to the door. As I am walking, it's happening...the full blown pass out symptoms. The world started going black from the sides, my ears were ringing so loudly it was drowning everyone out...and as we got into the door I made it to a wall and slid all the way down...and I couldn't get up.

They had to bring out a wheelchair and wheel me back into the offices, find me a place to lay down and recover. Luckily everything was still pretty blacked out so I have no idea how many people were in the waiting room...staring at the freak who collapsed in the entryway.

They found me a place to relax, got me to lie down and I started breathing normally again...and went into some deep breathing for a while to try to calm myself down. The whole time I was thinking "I am a fricking freak of nature...I know NO ONE else who does this...NO ONE!!!"

Eventually, my vision came back and my hearing lost the ring. I stopped sweating that icky cold sweat and I could sit up again. I sat for a few minutes making sure I had my bearings. After all, I don't think the nurses would be so kind if they had to come and get me again.

Then I walked out, head held high...mainly because I have no idea how many people in that waiting room saw my freak show...after all, I was blacked out, so as far as I was concerned, no one was there. I was just a regular girl doing regular things at the doctor's office...no way was I the freak passing out in her car...

I made it home, but my arm hurts like hell because of the *eek* shot...at least that has taken my mind off the pain in my neck...at least the one I went to the doctor for.

This post brought to you by the number 200...as in posts :-)